Tag: liminal space

  • Chapter 8 – The Soldier Who Wouldn’t Come Home

    Chapter 8 – The Soldier Who Wouldn’t Come Home

    The war had ended three months ago.

    That was what the posters said, anyway—peeling on brick walls, flapping on lamp posts, fluttering over the market like tired flags.

    Teren ran his fingers over one of them, tracing the bold letters announcing Peace Declared as if they belonged to someone else’s story.

    Behind him, the town breathed like a single vast creature. Laughter spilled from taverns and doorways, thin music threaded through the streets, and somewhere a drum beat slow and steady, calling people to celebration.

    Teren’s heart answered with a different rhythm entirely: too fast, then too slow. Like a soldier out of step with the rest of the line.

    He turned away from the poster and the noise. Away from the smell of roasting meat and spilled ale. Away from the steady, inevitable drum that reminded him of marching—of boots in mud, of shouted orders, of the hollow thump of bodies hitting the ground.

    He shoved his hands into his coat pockets and walked until cobblestones gave way to packed earth, and the lamps thinned and then vanished.

    He didn’t bother watching where he was going.

    He had already been lost for a very long time.


    The night at the edge of town was cold, and honest about it. No music, no laughter—just the rasp of dry grass, the creak of bare branches, the hiss of the river dragging itself over stones.

    Teren followed the sound of water. It had always helped, once. Long before the uniform. Long before the weight in his chest.

    He came to the old stone bridge, the one that arched over the Blackwater like a crooked spine. Moss grew between its blocks, and lichen shaved years from its surface.

    He leaned against the rough stone, listening to the river and to the faint drumbeat of celebration carried faintly from behind him.

    You should be there, he told himself. Your name’s on the wall. You came back. You’re one of the lucky ones.

    His jaw clenched until his teeth ached.

    “Lucky ones,” he whispered into the dark, the words bitter and small. “Tell that to Jorran.”

    The name landed between him and the river like a stone.

    Jorran’s laugh, Jorran’s hand on his shoulder, Jorran’s eyes turning surprised and then empty. Teren squeezed his eyes shut, but the images were etched on the inside of his eyelids. He could see them whether he wanted to or not.

    He had pulled so many men back behind the line. He had dragged bodies, living and dead, through mud and smoke. That was what he had been good at: hauling, carrying, enduring.

    Except that one time. The one that mattered.

    He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes until colors sparked against the darkness.

    When he pulled his hands away, something else was there.

    A light—a small one—hung in the air a short distance down the riverbank. Not high like a lantern on a pole. Low, close to the ground, as if someone had dropped a candle and forgotten it.

    It flickered once, twice.

    Then it moved.

    Teren straightened, frowning. The light bobbed along the edge of the reeds, weaving between stones with a peculiar deliberate grace. It did not sway like something carried by a person. It glided, bright and steady, at the height of a child’s eyes.

    “…Hello?” he called, because habit and training had taught him to announce himself, even when he wanted to vanish.

    The light paused.

    Then it turned toward him.

    For a second, nothing else existed. Just the river’s hiss, the distant thud of celebratory drums, and that small, unwavering glow.

    It brightened, just a little, as if answering.

    Teren swallowed. He had seen strange things on the field—flares, tracer fire, the red bloom of artillery across the horizon—but none of them had ever made the air feel like this: sharp and thin, like a breath held too long.

    “Right,” he muttered to himself. “Either I’m tired enough to be seeing lights… or someone actually needs help.”

    The second thing hurt less than the first, so he chose it.

    He slid down the slope from the bridge, boots skidding on damp earth. The light retreated a pace, just enough to stay out of reach, then waited like a patient guide.

    “Fine,” Teren said under his breath. “Lead on, then.”

    The light bobbed once, as though it understood.

    And moved.


    At first he thought it was a lantern, suspended by some trick of wire. But as he drew nearer, he saw the shape behind it.

    A fox, no larger than any that skulked on the edge of fields—except for the way its fur caught the night, ember-bright along its back and cheeks, and the way its tail curved upward like a hook.

    From the tip of that tail, a lantern hung. Not iron and glass, but a globe of soft golden flame, contained and impossible, suspended without chain or handle.

    The creature watched him with eyes like polished amber. Its paws were silent on the earth. The lantern’s glow warmed his face, cutting the chill.

    Teren stopped, breath caught halfway.

    The fox tilted its head, studying him the way a scout studies a stranger at the edge of camp.

    “I’m… I’m not drunk,” Teren said to it, mostly to convince himself. “And I’m not asleep.”

    The fox blinked once, very slowly.

    Then it turned and trotted along the riverbank, pausing only when it realized he wasn’t yet moving.

    It looked back, lantern swaying gently. The light caught the deep lines etched into his face, the few silver threads starting at his temples, the tiredness pulling down his shoulders.

    “This is ridiculous,” he muttered.

    He followed.


    The river narrowed and deepened to his right, a black ribbon in the night. To his left, the land rose in uneven humps and tangled bushes, dotted with the skeletal remains of summer’s trees.

    The fox led him along a path he would have sworn wasn’t there whenever he’d walked this way by day. The ground underfoot was too smooth, the turns too natural, like worn stone in the threshold of an old doorway.

    The lantern’s glow chased the worst of the shadows away, but Teren’s mind filled them in easily enough.

    A figure slumped against a broken wall. The faint shape of a rifle. The echo of someone calling his name through smoke.

    He dragged in a breath. The air here smelled of damp earth and fallen leaves, tinged with something else—oak smoke, maybe, and the ghost of spilled ale. It prickled at the back of his memory in a way that made him more uneasy than comforted.

    “Where are you taking me?” he asked the fox, knowing he wouldn’t get an answer.

    He was right. No voice answered. The fox just kept moving, tail-lantern swaying side to side in a calm, patient arc, the light laying down a narrow line for him to walk.

    He realized after a while that he could no longer hear the town.

    No drums. No laughter. No music.

    Just the river, and the sound of his own breath, and the faint, soft click of the fox’s paws on stone.

    They crested a low rise, and the world spilled open.


    The clearing below them should not have been there.

    Teren knew this stretch of land. Or thought he did. By day it was nothing more than scrub and a few gnarled trees, good for nothing but giving children a place to dare each other to climb.

    Now, though—

    Now the clearing held ghosts.

    Not the translucent, whispering kind. These were made of memory and shape.

    He saw a field churned to mud, pitted with craters. He saw torn banners whipping in a wind he could not feel. He saw the silhouettes of men and women in armor and in patched jackets, some kneeling, some standing, all watching something near the center of the space.

    His own breath fogged in front of him. He could smell cordite, and blood, and wet wool. His stomach lurched.

    “No,” he said. “No. We don’t come back here. I did my time.”

    The fox’s lantern brightened, its glow widening until it brushed the edge of the vision below. The shapes sharpened. One of them moved in a way that hit Teren like a fist to the chest.

    Wide shoulders. Lopsided gait. The way the man pushed his hair back with two fingers when he was trying to think.

    Jorran.

    Teren’s throat closed.

    He stood frozen on the edge of the rise, watching his younger self—mud-streaked, eyes too wide—running toward the sound of gunfire, shouting Jorran’s name. Watching Jorran turn, relief breaking across his face.

    Then the sharp, bitter crack of a shot. The way Jorran’s body jerked, then folded like someone had cut his strings.

    Teren staggered back a step, fingers digging into his hair. It felt like the first time all over again. Weightless, stunned, unable to move fast enough as his memory-self dove for Jorran, hands pressing uselessly against the spreading red.

    “I know how this ends,” he rasped.

    The fox padded to his side, close enough that its fur brushed his trousers. The lantern swung forward, spilling warm light over the scene below, softening the edges of the worst of it.

    The vision did not stop. It played on—his frantic hands, the medics arriving too late, the wild, pointless scream he never remembered making until someone told him later.

    And then, as abruptly as a curtain falling, the sound dropped away.

    The figures in the clearing froze. Jorran lay still on the ground, eyes half-open, expression caught midway between surprise and something else.

    Teren realized he was breathing like he’d run a mile. His fingers hurt where nails dug into palms.

    The fox stepped forward.

    It did not speak. It did not explain.

    It simply walked down the slope, light steady, until it reached the still form of Jorran in the frozen memory. It circled once, twice, then looked up at Teren, lantern casting long shadows across the ground.

    Come, the gesture said. Not in words, but in the way its body angled, the way the light pooled in a path between them.

    He didn’t want to.

    He wanted to turn around, to walk back to the bridge, to pretend he had never seen any of this.

    But he had been running from this exact moment for so long that his legs knew the path without him. They remembered the feel of mud and blood and the weight of his friend’s body.

    He walked down into the clearing.

    With every step, the ghosts grew less solid, like they were made of mist. The sounds did not come back. Only the soft chime of the lantern flame and the whisper of dry grass against his boots.

    He reached Jorran’s side and dropped to his knees. His fingers hovered over the same place they had pressed once, long ago, trying to keep a heart beating that had already decided to stop.

    The body beneath his hand was not real. His palm passed through fog and left it unruffled.

    Teren’s chest hurt anyway.

    “I tried,” he said, voice cracking. “I tried. I swear to you, I—”

    He had said those words in his head so often that they had become a rhythm, a litany. They had never escaped his mouth before now.

    “I should have been faster. I should’ve pulled you back sooner. I should’ve seen the sniper. I should have—”

    The words tangled, choked. His shoulders shook.

    The fox sat, folding its legs neatly beneath it. The lantern swayed gently, casting a circle of gold that pushed the worst shadows further back.

    It watched him without judgment. Without pity. Just presence.

    Somewhere in the silence, the drumbeat from town tried to intrude, but it sounded very far away.

    After a long time, Teren scrubbed his face with the heel of his hand. His eyes felt raw. His ribs ached like he’d been in a fight.

    “I don’t know how to do this part,” he admitted, not sure who he was talking to. The fox. Jorran. The river. Himself. “They told us how to march. How to shoot. How to stitch a man up and send him back out. Nobody ever told us how to come home.”

    The fox’s lantern flared, then narrowed, as if breathing.

    Jorran’s frozen face softened very slightly, the rigid lines easing. Perhaps it was a trick of the light. Perhaps not.

    Teren reached out, hand shaking, and set his fingers lightly against the outline of his friend’s shoulder. The fog of the memory rippled under his touch.

    “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You shouldn’t be here in my head like this, stuck on the worst day. You deserved better.”

    The words felt strange and heavy. As they left his mouth, the clearing seemed to exhale.

    The ghosts in the distance blurred further, dissolving into shadows that looked more like trees than soldiers. The churned mud smoothed into earth, dotted with hardy grass. The smell of smoke thinned, replaced by damp leaves and distant rain.

    Jorran’s outline shimmered.

    “Rest,” Teren said. His voice was steadier now. “You did your part. You can… you can stand down, all right? I’ll carry the rest.”

    Something loosened beneath his sternum, a knot he hadn’t known had a beginning.

    The figure at his feet dissolved like breath on a mirror.

    The clearing was just a clearing again.

    Teren sank back on his heels, chest rising and falling. The fox came to his side, brushing lightly against his arm. The lantern’s glow settled, no longer flaring bright, just a steady, warm presence at the edge of his vision.

    “Is this what you do?” he asked it quietly. “You drag people back through their nightmares and… sit with them until it hurts less?”

    The fox’s ears flicked. It tilted its head as if considering his question, then turned away, tail swinging.

    There was more to see.


    The path out of the clearing led upward, through thinner trees. The fox took a different route than the one they had used to enter; Teren was almost sure of it. The land didn’t match any map in his mind.

    They crested another hill, higher than the last. Here, the night sky opened fully above them, pierced by hard white stars. The river’s voice was faint now, distant but still loyal.

    At the top of the hill stood a single stone.

    It was not a grave marker, not exactly. No name had been carved into it. Moss clung to its base, and lichen painted pale sigils across its face. But there was a hollow in the earth before it, as if people had stood there before and wept, and their tears had worn a small depression into the ground.

    The fox padded to the stone and sat, lantern shining against its weathered surface. It looked back at Teren.

    He understood.

    “I don’t even have his tags,” he said, throat thick again. “They sent them to his family. I don’t… I don’t have anything of his.”

    Except memory, and guilt, and the way Jorran had made terrible jokes when everyone needed them most.

    He reached into his coat pocket anyway, more out of habit than hope. His fingers brushed something metal.

    He frowned, pulling it out.

    It wasn’t Jorran’s tags, no. But it was a small disc of dull steel, stamped with Teren’s own number and name. A spare he’d kept without thinking, because that was what soldiers did.

    He weighed it in his palm, the metal slick and cold with sweat.

    “You want me to leave this?” he asked the fox.

    The lantern’s glow brightened fractionally, catching the stamped letters, turning them momentarily gold.

    He snorted softly. “You’re very free with other people’s belongings, you know that?”

    Still, his feet carried him forward. He knelt before the stone. The earth there was softer than it should have been, welcoming.

    He turned the disc over once, thumb brushing his own name.

    Then he pressed it into the moss at the base of the stone.

    “For Jorran,” he said. “And for everyone else who stayed, when I didn’t.”

    It felt like confession. Like surrender. Like laying down a rifle he’d been carrying far too long.

    The fox rose and circled the stone, tail lantern tracing a slow ring of light around it. For a heartbeat, Teren saw other shapes at the stone’s base: bits of ribbon, a button, a feather, a child’s carved toy horse. Offerings from other people, on other nights.

    Then the image was gone, as if it had never been.

    The wind shifted.

    On that wind came music—not the rough tavern songs from town, but something lower and warmer. A fiddle, maybe, and the murmur of voices, and the clink of mugs on wood.

    Teren turned, heart stuttering.

    Far below the hill, where there should have been only trees and the far edge of town, a glow pulsed.

    It was not the sharp yellow of gas lamps or the thin blue of electric light. It was a deep, steady amber, like the heart of a fire that had been burning for a very long time.

    He could see the suggestion of a roofline, the faint outline of door and windows. Smoke rose from a chimney that faded into the stars. For a moment, he swore he saw a sign swinging above the doorway, catching the light in a way that suggested painted metal and old wood.

    He leaned forward, squinting.

    The details refused to resolve. Every time he thought he caught hold of them, they slid out of focus, like a half-remembered dream.

    He could hear laughter, though. Not the raucous, brittle kind. The rich, quiet sort people make when they are finally safe.

    His chest ached with a surprising, almost painful desire to be inside that light. To feel warmth at his back and a solid mug in his hands, and to sit with others who understood what it cost to keep standing.

    He took a step down the hill.

    The fox stepped gracefully in front of him, blocking the path.

    It didn’t growl. Didn’t bare its teeth.

    It simply looked up at him, lantern reflecting in its eyes, and shook its head—just once.

    Not yet.

    Teren swallowed.

    “Not for me, then?” he asked, voice rough.

    The fox blinked slowly. The distant glow pulsed, just for a heartbeat, as if in answer. The music curled around his ears, a promise more than a presence.

    Then, like a candle snuffed under a cupped hand, it vanished.

    The hillside below was only dark again. Trees and shadows. Ordinary night.

    Teren stood very still.

    The fox touched its nose lightly to his knuckles. The lantern’s warmth soaked into his skin, sinking up his arm, settling somewhere beneath his ribs.

    The place that had been all stone and ache was… not empty now. But different. Like a room where the furniture had been rearranged, and you weren’t entirely sure where everything stood, only that there was breathing space again.

    “Right,” he said after a moment, scrubbing at his face. “Right. I hear you.”

    He looked down at the stone one last time, at the disc half-hidden in the moss.

    “I’ll go home,” he promised Jorran, and the stone, and the quiet fox, and himself. “Properly, this time.”

    The fox’s lantern dipped in a small, solemn bow.


    The path back to the bridge felt shorter.

    They walked in silence. The night seemed to have softened—still cold, still wide, but less like a set of teeth waiting to close and more like a cloak settled around his shoulders.

    By the time the murmur of the town reached his ears again, the drumbeat no longer sounded like marching. It sounded like dancing. Like hearts finding a common rhythm, instead of grinding against each other.

    They reached the slope below the bridge. The stones were slick with river mist. Teren climbed up first, then turned back.

    The fox stood at the bottom, golden lantern reflected in the dark water.

    “Will I remember this?” Teren asked.

    He already knew the answer. He had heard stories, growing up—half-remembered tales told in winter about lights that led the lost through snowstorms and fog, about a fox with a lantern on its tail that guided people where they needed to go.

    Sometimes people said they dreamed it all later. Sometimes they swore they had simply walked, and walked, and walked, and found themselves exactly where they needed to be, with no memory of the in-between.

    The fox’s lantern dimmed slightly, its edges softening. The air around it shimmered.

    “Yeah,” he said. “All right. Maybe that’s for the best.”

    He hesitated, then added, “Thank you. For… sitting with me. For not making me do it alone.”

    The fox’s ears flicked. For an instant, the lantern brightened again, so bright it threw his shadow long across the bridge stones.

    Then the glow collapsed inward, like fire curling around itself.

    When his eyes cleared, the fox was gone.

    Only the ordinary night remained. The river. The bridge. The faint call of someone laughing, carried from town.

    Teren looked at his hand.

    His knuckles were warm, as if a small coal had been pressed there and then removed. When he closed his fist, the warmth settled deeper, a quiet ember inside his chest.

    He turned toward the town.

    The posters would still be on the walls. His name would still be on the plaque. The taverns would still be loud. People would clap him on the back and tell him he was a hero, and some part of him would still flinch.

    But for the first time since he’d stepped off the transport, he felt like the road ahead led somewhere other than back to that moment in the mud.

    He walked toward the lights.

    Behind him, unnoticed, a tiny glimmer flickered once at the edge of the trees—like a fox’s lantern, watching, waiting, ready for the next broken heart that needed help finding its way home.

  • Chapter 7 – The Empty Doorway

    Chapter 7 – The Empty Doorway

    (The Grieving Parent)

    The hallway light had been burned out for months.

    Mara liked it that way. Darkness made it easier to walk past the door without looking at the little brass plaque with the chipped paint and the sticker in one corner that read Super Explorer.

    The door stayed closed. The door stayed closed because if she opened it, the room would be different. It would be full of dust instead of laughter, stale air instead of the scent of crayons and sticky fruit snacks. As long as it was closed, the picture in her mind stayed the same: a small bed with space-ship sheets, a stuffed rabbit slumped on the pillow, a crooked poster of planets on the wall.

    She carried her mug from the kitchen—lukewarm tea she’d forgotten to drink—past the door like she did every night. One, two, three, four… She counted the steps between her bedroom and the nursery without meaning to. Her hands knew this path even when her mind didn’t want to.

    Halfway past, she stopped.

    There was light under the door.

    Not the thin, sickly orange from the streetlamp outside, sneaking in through old curtains. This was warm and soft and golden, like candlelight trapped in honey, breathing with a slow, gentle pulse.

    Mara’s first thought was short circuit. The wiring in the house was old. Maybe something had finally caught—a lamp left plugged in, a nightlight she’d forgotten to unplug that afternoon. Her chest tightened. She couldn’t bear the thought of that room burning, of losing the last shape of it.

    She set her mug on the floor with a clink she barely heard and pressed her palm to the door.

    Warm. But not hot.

    The knob was cool, smooth under her fingers. She turned it, expecting the creak she’d heard a thousand times.

    The door opened without a sound.

    The nursery was exactly as she’d left it the day she’d shut it for the last time.

    Tiny bed. Space-ship sheets. Stuffed rabbit on the pillow, one ear folded over. Crayon drawing taped to the wall, corners curling. The mobile above the bed hung still, tiny wooden moons and stars frozen mid-orbit.

    And in the middle of the worn rug, curled like a sleeping ember, was a fox.

    Its fur was the color of late autumn leaves kissed by fire—russet and gold and a deeper, coal-dark red along the spine. Its ears were tipped in soot-black, and its paws seemed dusted with ash. Its eyes, half-lidded, reflected the light that swung gently from the lantern hanging from its tail.

    That lantern was the source of the glow. It was small and round, made of panes of glass that might once have been clear, now stained in warm amber. A simple metal frame held it together, worn and dented as if it had crossed a great many roads. Inside, an unseen flame smoldered: not bright enough to hurt the eyes, but so warm that the shadows on the walls shivered and softened.

    Mara stood in the doorway, fingers gripping the frame so hard her knuckles ached.

    “…What,” she whispered, “are you?”

    The fox lifted its head. The lantern on its tail swung, casting sleepy arcs of gold across the ceiling. For a heartbeat, the mobile above the bed seemed to turn, the carved moons catching the light as if moved by some invisible breeze.

    The fox didn’t speak. It simply watched her, ears pricked forward, eyes calm and deep and impossibly old.

    “I’m dreaming,” Mara muttered. Her voice sounded wrong in the small room—too big, too sharp. She hadn’t spoken in here since the funeral. “This is… this is some kind of grief hallucination. I’ve finally snapped.”

    The fox blinked slowly, then unfolded itself from the rug in one sinuous motion. Its paws made no sound on the floor. Tiny paw pads pressed little crescents into the dust, and where it stepped, the dust seemed to retreat, leaving faint, clean prints that faded as the lantern light passed.

    It padded across the room toward the small dresser where a row of toys sat like patient guardians. Little plastic astronauts. A wooden car. A stuffed bear with one eye missing. A stack of picture books.

    The fox paused by a faded blue ball with a chipped silver star painted on the side.

    Mara’s breath caught. “Niko’s ball,” she said, before she could stop herself. The name slid out and hung in the air, heavy and bright, like a star that had forgotten how to fall.

    The lantern brightened.

    For a moment, the light flared around the ball, wrapping it in a soft halo. The golden glow thickened, deepened, until shadows seemed to peel away from the corners of the room, drawn toward that one point.

    Mara saw, not with her eyes but with the aching space behind her ribs, a flash of motion: small hands flinging the ball too hard down the hallway, giggles spilling after it. Niko’s socked feet skidding on hardwood. “Again, Mama! Again!”

    She shut her eyes. The memory pressed at her, sharp and tender.

    When she opened them, the fox had the ball in its mouth, the lantern on its tail swaying gently. It turned toward her, head tilted, as if asking a question.

    “I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t do this. I can’t—”

    The fox brushed past her in the doorway, fur whispering against her leg. Warmth radiated from it, not hot like fever, but like holding your hands over a hearth on a winter night. The lantern grazed the frame as it passed, and for a heartbeat, Mara thought she saw soot-dark paw prints dancing along the wood, circling the door like a small, patient orbit.

    The fox padded into the hallway. It paused, looking back over its shoulder, lantern swinging gently.

    An invitation.

    Mara found herself following before she decided to move.

    Out of the nursery. Down the hall with its familiar creaks and small scars in the paint. Past the bathroom where she’d sat on the floor and sobbed into a towel so no one would hear. Past the coat closet with the bright yellow rain jacket still hanging inside, too small now for anyone.

    The house was strange in the lantern light. The familiar lines of furniture blurred at the edges. The framed photos on the walls seemed deeper somehow, the faces inside them more alive. Mara caught glimpses as she passed—Niko at three with ice cream on his chin, Niko at four holding up a lopsided snowman—but the fox never stopped, and neither did she.

    It led her to the front door.

    “You want to go outside?” she asked, voice brittle. “It’s… it’s the middle of the night.”

    The fox sat back on its haunches, ball at its feet, lantern swaying softly. It looked at the door, then at Mara.

    Her hand shook as she worked the deadbolt. The outside world felt too big, too loud, too indifferent these days. She went out only when she had to: work, groceries, appointments where strangers said words like processing and stages and acceptance.

    The latch clicked. Cold air slipped in around the edges, smelling of damp pavement and distant woodsmoke.

    The fox slipped through the opening as soon as she cracked it, tail lantern swinging like a private star. Mara hesitated on the threshold.

    The porch steps fell away into darkness. Streetlights flickered far off, their usual harsh glare dimmed and softened by the fox’s glow. The houses opposite looked… quieter, somehow, their edges blurred like watercolor. The world felt both more solid and less real, like stepping into a photograph you’d looked at too often.

    Mara drew a ragged breath and stepped outside.

    The fox trotted down the walk, paws leaving faint smudges of light on the concrete that faded with each step. The night seemed to bend around it, sounds muffled. No hum of distant cars. No sirens. Just the soft brush of fox fur, the faint clink of glass as the lantern swayed, the sound of her own breathing.

    They turned down the street.

    The way the lantern lit the sidewalk was strange. It didn’t simply push the darkness away; it carved a small, moving bubble of warmth in which each crack in the concrete, each fallen leaf, each weed pushing through the edges was illuminated with almost reverent care.

    They walked past the closed corner store. Past the bus stop where she used to wait with Niko, his small hand tucked in hers, his backpack always a little too big. A gust of wind stirred the advertisement poster there, and for a second she thought she saw a different picture entirely: a wooden sign with a fox etched into it, a lantern hanging beneath, swaying in a wind that didn’t touch this street.

    She blinked, and the image was gone. Just a smiling actor holding a paper cup of coffee remained.

    The fox looked back once, as if checking she’d seen it.

    “Where are we going?” Mara murmured, even though she knew it wouldn’t answer.

    The fox padded on.

    They reached the park.

    The gate—old, chipped green metal—stood slightly ajar. The fox slipped through the gap without slowing. Mara swung the gate wider with a dull squeal of hinges, flinching at the sound cutting through the softened night.

    Inside, the park was empty. The swing set stood in a row like waiting question marks. The slide gleamed faintly. The sandbox was a pale smudge in the earth, ringed by tiny abandoned footprints that belonged to no one now.

    This was the last place she’d been with Niko before—

    She drew in a breath so fast it hurt and clutched at the ache in her chest.

    The fox walked to the middle of the playground and set the blue ball down. The lantern brightened, stretching shadows long and thin across the grass. The slide’s metal seemed to catch the light like a blade; the chains of the swings glowed softly, each link outlined in gold.

    For a moment, the park wasn’t empty.

    In the lantern’s radiance, Mara saw quick hands grabbing at the swing chains, saw short legs pumping, heard a laugh like a bell. She saw herself from the outside, pushing, saying “Higher? You’re brave, little comet,” and Niko’s answering shout: “I’m not little!”

    But there was no body in the swing now. Just wind gently rocking the chains, squeaking quietly.

    The lantern dimmed again, returning the park to hollow stillness.

    Mara sank onto the nearest bench. The wood was cold under her, damp from earlier rain. Her hands trembled in her lap. Tears blurred the lantern’s glow into a soft smear of gold.

    “It’s not fair,” she whispered. “He should still be here. He should— he should be running. He should be…” Her throat closed.

    The fox stepped closer.

    Without ceremony, it hopped up onto the bench beside her, light lantern tail resting along the back. The warmth from its body seeped into her side, into the stiff, locked muscles between her ribs. It pressed its head gently against her arm, as if nudging her to look up.

    She did.

    Beyond the playground, past the last row of trees, there was something that hadn’t been there before.

    At first, she thought it was mist. A silver ribbon hanging in the air, just above the ground. Then the lantern light reached it, and the shape resolved: stepping stones hovering over a water that reflected no stars, stretching out into a blank darkness that didn’t feel empty, exactly. Just… beyond.

    The nearest stone was only a few paces away.

    Mara’s pulse thundered in her ears. “Is that…?”

    She couldn’t finish the thought. The words felt dangerous, as if saying them would drag her forward or shatter the fragile, impossible moment.

    The fox slid off the bench and padded to the edge of the water-that-was-not-water. The lantern brightened, casting rings of light across the surface. It rippled not like a lake, but like memory—scenes disturbed by the tiniest disturbance.

    Mara saw baby fingers curling around her thumb. The first time Niko had pointed at the moon. A sticky kiss on her cheek, a weight on her shoulder as he fell asleep against her.

    She stood up slowly.

    Her legs felt like they belonged to someone else. She took one step. Then another. Each footfall echoed more loudly than it should have, like footsteps in a church.

    The fox waited by the first stone.

    “I can’t follow him,” Mara whispered, realization cutting through the fog in her mind like a cold wind. “I know. I know I can’t. It’s not my time.”

    The fox’s lantern flickered, acknowledging. It looked at the stone, then at her, ears tilted forward, patient.

    She understood, then, what it was asking.

    Not to follow. Just to come close enough to say what she’d never let herself say. To admit what she kept folded like a secret in the dark spaces between her heartbeat.

    Her whole body shook. She wrapped her arms around herself, fingertips digging into her sleeves.

    “I don’t know how,” she said.

    The fox took one small step, placing its forepaws on the first stone.

    The lantern flared once, bright and steady. The warmth rushed over her like a breath from a door just opened onto a room that had been closed too long.

    Mara stepped forward.

    Her foot touched the stone. It was neither wet nor dry, neither warm nor cold. It simply was, solid and real under her weight. The water beside it—if it was water—stilled, reflecting only the lantern’s glow and something else, far off: the blurred suggestion of a small hand waving from beyond the last visible stone.

    She didn’t try to see more. She was afraid that if she did, she would never step back.

    The fox leaned against her leg, anchoring her here, in this one step of the bridge between worlds.

    “Niko,” she said.

    His name rang out into the not-water, into the dark, into the hollowed-out space inside her. She hadn’t said it out loud in weeks. Not alone. Not without someone there to pat her hand and tell her she was being “so strong.”

    “I’m so sorry,” she choked. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t— I didn’t— I should have…” The words tumbled over each other and fell away, useless.

    The lantern’s light flickered in time with her breath. With each shuddering inhale, it swelled. With each stuttering exhale, it dimmed, then steadied again, as if matching her, refusing to let her disappear into the dark.

    “I love you,” she forced out. The words came out ragged, broken. “I love you, and you’re not here and it hurts and I don’t know who I am without you, and I feel so guilty every time I laugh because it feels like leaving you behind, and I don’t know how to carry all this and still go on, but I—”

    Her voice cracked. Tears blurred everything into gold and black.

    “And I will,” she whispered. “I will go on. I’ll keep going. I’ll carry you with me. Not like this—” She gestured vaguely toward the dark park, the locked hallway, the closed door waiting at home. “Not frozen. Not stuck. I’ll try to live. For both of us. Somehow.”

    The words didn’t fix anything.

    They didn’t bring him back. They didn’t erase the silence that would always echo where his laugh had been.

    But they did something small and important.

    The lantern’s flame surged, shooting a thin, bright beam over the water. It struck the farthest visible stone and shattered into a thousand tiny embers that drifted slowly back toward her, falling not into her hands, but into her chest, sinking without heat or pain.

    The weight inside her shifted.

    Grief was still there, but the sharpest edge dulled, wrapped in something gentler. Not acceptance—she wasn’t ready for that word—but an admission that the love didn’t have to be a locked door, that it could be a lantern she carried forward, light leaking through the cracks.

    The fox stepped back off the stone, leaving her there.

    It looked up at her, eyes reflecting not only the lantern’s glow, but the faint light that had kindled behind her own.

    Then, with a small, decisive shake of its fur, it turned and padded back toward the playground.

    Mara wobbled as she stepped off the stone. The world felt too heavy and too light all at once.

    When she glanced back, the water and stones were gone.

    Only the field stretched behind the playground, damp and dark and ordinary. The night noises crept back in: a distant car, a dog barking somewhere, the whisper of leaves.

    The fox waited by the gate, tail lantern dimmed to a quiet ember.

    Mara followed it home.

    The streets were the same, and not. The bus stop was just a bus stop again, though for a moment she thought she heard the faint clatter of mugs and the low murmur of voices, as if there were a warm room just out of sight somewhere beyond the glass—somewhere travelers rested before moving on. If such a place existed, she thought, the fox would know the way.

    Back at the house, she paused on the front step.

    The porch light she’d never replaced was still dead. Only the lantern lit the chipped paint, the worn welcome mat, the hairline cracks in the stairs. The fox paused by the threshold, looking back at her.

    “I don’t want to close his door anymore,” she heard herself say. “Not like a tomb. And I don’t want to keep it frozen, either.”

    Her hand moved to the doorknob.

    Inside, the hallway felt different. Not because anything had changed, but because she had. The darkness was the same, but it no longer felt like a wall; it felt like a canvas waiting for the smallest mark.

    The fox padded straight to the nursery and sat before the open door.

    For the first time since that awful day, Mara stepped into the room with the lights off and didn’t flinch.

    She went to the bed and picked up the stuffed rabbit, its fur worn thin in patches, one eye slightly loose in its socket. She hugged it to her chest and inhaled dust and faint, lingering traces of laundry soap.

    “I’ll keep this,” she said softly.

    The fox’s lantern brightened in approval.

    She moved slowly, carefully. She opened the blinds a little, letting the first thin threads of dawn sneak in. She cracked the window an inch to let the stale air breathe. She righted the picture on the wall that had been hung crooked for months.

    She didn’t pack anything yet. That would come later. Not today, and maybe not tomorrow. But the room was not sealed anymore. Not a reliquary. Not a wound she refused to look at. Just a room, filled with memories and quiet and light.

    By the time the sky outside had paled to soft grey, the fox was curled again on the rug. Its eyes were closed, but the lantern still glowed faintly, a drowsy coal.

    Mara knelt beside it.

    She didn’t try to pet it. Somehow, that felt like the wrong kind of touch, too casual for whatever it was. Instead, she bowed her head slightly, as if standing at the threshold of a sacred place.

    “Thank you,” she whispered, voice hoarse but steadier. “For… walking me there. And back.”

    The fox’s ears twitched. The lantern brightened one last time, flaring gently, filling the room with a light that smelled faintly of woodsmoke, autumn leaves, and something else she couldn’t name—a hint of distant music, of clinking cups, of laughter in a place between storms.

    When the brightness faded, the rug was empty.

    No fox. No lantern. No soot-prints on the floor.

    Just the early morning light creeping across the space-ship sheets, touching the edges of a room that had been caught in the same moment for too long.

    Mara stood in the doorway, hand on the frame.

    For months, she had closed this door to keep the pain contained. Now, she left it open. She walked down the hall to her own room, found a small nightlight in the drawer beside her bed—a cheap plastic fox she’d bought on impulse years ago and never used—and plugged it into the socket by the nursery.

    The little fox glowed with a gentle amber light.

    It wasn’t the same as the lantern’s glow. But it was enough to keep the hallway from being completely dark.

    On her way back to bed, she thought she saw, just for an instant, the tip of an ember-bright tail disappearing around the corner, as if some small, weary traveler were stepping through a door that opened onto a road no map could show.

    Mara smiled, the expression strange and stiff on her face, as if unused muscles were trying a familiar shape again.

    “Wherever you’re going,” she murmured into the quiet house, “may your lantern never go out.”

    Somewhere, in a place between worlds and waking dreams, a fox with ember-colored fur trotted along a path made of thresholds and crossroads. Its lantern swayed, gathering stories of broken hearts and the small, brave ways they mended. And though Mara did not yet know it, her story would hang there, too, like a warm light in a window that helped guide others home.

  • Chapter 5 – The Child at the Edge of the World

    Chapter 5 – The Child at the Edge of the World

    (The Lost Path)


    By the time anyone realized Eli was missing, the fairground had already become another world.

    Daylight drained out of the sky in streaks of pink and copper, and all the coloured lights along the booths seemed too bright, too loud, as if someone had turned the whole evening up a notch. Voices blurred into a single rolling roar. Music from three different rides tangled into something that wasn’t quite a song.

    Eli stood in the middle of it, small and alone, clutching the crumpled corner of a map he’d been so proud to carry.

    “Stay by us,” Mum had said.

    “Don’t wander off,” Dad had added.

    And he hadn’t meant to. He’d only stepped aside to see the wooden dragon on the carousel up close, just for a second, because its emerald eye had seemed to be looking right at him. Then the crowd surged, somebody bumped his shoulder, and when he turned around his parents were gone.

    Not “a few steps away, scanning the crowd.”
    Not “right there if he just pushed through.”

    Gone.

    He tried to do what they’d told him. Go back to where you last saw us. Stay put and we’ll come find you.

    Except “where he’d last seen them” no longer existed.

    The booth with the stuffed bears was now selling glass stars. The truck with the hot chocolate had somehow become a tiny stage where a magician pulled scarves from nowhere. Even the path under his shoes looked wrong, the gravel crunching into something finer, smoother, more like the pressed stone of an old street.

    His heart thudded in his ears.

    “Dad?” he called, voice swallowed by the fair. “Mum?”

    No answer. Just the cheer from a ride spinning somewhere out of sight, and the distant crack of fireworks test-firing.

    He swallowed the hot knot in his throat. He was nine, almost ten. Too old to cry about getting separated. Too old to be scared of the dark that was rolling in like a slow wave over the horizon.

    The map in his hand fluttered. He looked down at it, hoping for a miracle.

    The bright lines of rides and food trucks and exits had smudged. The little icon of a smiling fox advertising “Funnel Cakes!” had stretched impossibly long, its tail curling around the edge of the paper like it was trying to slip away.

    He blinked hard.

    The fox lifted its head.

    Not on the paper. In front of him.

    Lantern-light bloomed where there had been nothing a heartbeat ago. A small shape stepped out of a crack between two stalls that shouldn’t have been large enough for anything bigger than a cat.

    The fox’s fur was the colour of embers at midnight, dark at the roots, burning brighter toward the tips. Its eyes were molten amber, reflecting the fairground lights and something deeper beneath. A lantern hung from its tail, light swaying gently, casting little ripples of gold across the gravel.

    Eli forgot how to breathe for a moment.

    The fox tilted its head, studying him. No one else seemed to notice it. People drifted past, laughing, brushing close enough that Eli had to edge aside, but no one glanced down at the glowing creature at his feet.

    “Hey,” he whispered, because it felt wrong to raise his voice. “Are you—are you real?”

    The fox didn’t answer. It simply stepped closer until the lantern light wrapped around Eli’s shoes and soaked into his jeans and skin, warm as a hand around his fingers.

    The panic loosened its grip on his chest, just a little.

    A soft gust of warm air rustled his hair, smelling faintly of woodsmoke and something sweet, like toasted sugar. For a moment he could hear—beneath the roar of the fair—another sound entirely: low conversation, clink of mugs, the murmur of a hearth.

    Then it was gone, as if someone had turned down a volume slider inside his head.

    The lantern fox turned away and trotted a few steps, then glanced back over its shoulder. The lantern on its tail swung, a gentle beckoning.

    Eli looked over his shoulder, in case some sensible grown-up had appeared to take charge.

    No one.

    He was lost. The exits kept moving. The map had turned strange.

    And yet… he wasn’t alone.

    He took a careful step toward the fox.

    It waited.

    Another step. Another. The fairground around them seemed to blur at the edges, booths stretching a little taller, lights smearing into long streaks of colour. Each step away from where he’d been felt like walking off the edge of something familiar and into a picture book you weren’t supposed to fall into.

    “Where are we going?” he muttered.

    The fox’s ears twitched. It didn’t speak, but the lantern flared a fraction brighter, as if answering: Somewhere you need to be, not somewhere you expect.

    They slipped between two stalls that had not been there a moment before: one selling glass bottles that glowed softly from inside, the other hung with wind chimes that made no sound. People moved past like shadows, a little slower now, a little less distinct.

    Eli realized the noise had changed. The roar of the fair had softened, receding like tidewater. He could hear his own breathing again, and the faint pad of the fox’s paws.

    Ahead, the chaos of booths and rides thinned. A narrow lane appeared, cobbled stones pressed into the earth, running away into the deepening dusk. Old brick walls rose on either side, patched and mismatched, doors tucked between them where no doors should have been.

    This wasn’t part of the fairground. This wasn’t part of his town at all.

    He stopped. “This… this isn’t right.”

    The fox stopped too, turning back toward him. For the first time, it closed the distance between them completely and pressed its forehead lightly against his knee.

    Heat poured through the fabric of his jeans, spreading up into his chest. Not burning, but a deep, steady warmth that seemed to push out the cold knot of fear. Images flickered at the edges of his thoughts: a little boy at a different crossroads, a woman on a ship staring at too many stars, a man in a forest with no path… all of them wrapped in the same lantern glow.

    Then, clearer than any of those, he saw his mother’s face as she’d looked at him earlier that day when he’d made a joke about “getting lost on purpose so no one could make him do chores.” She’d laughed, but her eyes had softened in that way they did when she was worried and trying not to show it.

    “Never on purpose,” she’d said, ruffling his hair. “You belong with us, you hear? If you ever feel lost, you yell loud enough for me to find you.”

    Eli’s throat tightened again, but now it wasn’t only fear; something else tangled there too. Regret. The sudden sharp knowledge that he had wished, just a little, to disappear. To step sideways from all the bickering and noise and rules.

    The fox leaned back, watching him.

    “I didn’t really mean it,” he whispered. “I don’t want to vanish. I just… I don’t like it when they fight. Or when they’re tired and forget I’m there.”

    The lantern’s light shifted, shadows tucking themselves neatly away, as if the world were listening politely. The fox turned and padded down the lane.

    This time, Eli followed without hesitation.

    The further they went, the more the air changed. The sharp scent of frying food faded, replaced by cool stone and distant rain, even though the sky above remained clear. The cobbles under his shoes were damp and old, moss peeking between them. The buildings on either side leaned inward like they were listening in.

    Doors lined the alley. Some were plain wood. Others had carvings: waves, leaves, stars, symbols Eli couldn’t name. A few were cracked open, warm light seeping through.

    They passed one doorway where voices murmured, fragments of words curling out into the lane.

    “…thought I’d lost it all, but then…”

    “…found my way back…”

    “…a lantern, like a fox’s tail, of all things…”

    Eli slowed, peering through the thin gap. For a heartbeat he saw a room that could have been in any storybook tavern: low beams, a stone hearth with fire painting the room in amber, people in travelling cloaks and modern jackets both, gathered around chipped mugs. A sign hung over the hearth, emblazoned with the stylized outline of a fox wrapped around a lantern.

    His heart gave a little jump of recognition, though he couldn’t have said why.

    The fox brushed against his leg, drawing him on. When he looked back at the doorway, the crack had closed. The sign over the hearth was gone, as if it had never been.

    “Was that… a pub?” he asked, reflexively. “Like in old movies?”

    The fox didn’t answer, but the lantern’s glow shivered with something like amusement.

    They walked on until the alley opened up into a small square.

    It wasn’t big—more like the space in the middle of four old houses that had agreed to share a backyard. A dry fountain stood at its center, stone basin carved with little foxes chasing one another’s tails. The world beyond the square was a haze, as if someone had forgotten to finish painting it.

    The lantern fox padded to the fountain and hopped gracefully onto its rim. It turned to face Eli and lowered its tail so the lantern hung just above the basin.

    Light spilled down like liquid.

    Water rose to meet it.

    At first it was empty, clear. Then shapes surfaced beneath the glow: waves of colour, fragments of moving scenes.

    He saw himself, only minutes ago, standing by the wooden dragon, map in hand. He watched as a knot of teenagers pushed past, watched his parents carried away on the tide of bodies, unaware he had stopped. He saw his own face, a little stubborn, a little curious, as he stepped toward the dragon instead of clinging to Mum’s sleeve.

    “It’s my fault,” he whispered.

    The fox’s ears flicked. The light in the lantern dimmed, and the image shifted.

    Now he saw his parents. Not from his eyes this time—from somewhere above. His mother’s face was pale, lips pressed tight as she scanned the crowd, calling his name. His father spoke to the nearest staff member, gesturing sharply, trying very hard not to look as scared as he was.

    They circled the fair, again and again, their paths looping, almost touching the spot where Eli had stood and then missing it by a single step, a single breath, as if the fairground itself were twisting to keep them apart.

    He watched his mother’s shoulders shake once when she thought his father wasn’t looking, saw his father’s jaw clench as he pretended not to notice.

    The knot in Eli’s throat loosened into something else entirely.

    “They’re… they’re looking so hard,” he said. “I thought…”

    He had thought, in a small, secret part of himself, that maybe if he disappeared they would shrug eventually and keep going, like when a toy broke and no one had time to fix it. But this—this frantic searching, this fear—this was something else.

    The lantern fox lifted its head slightly. The scenes in the water folded and collapsed like pages turning.

    Eli saw flashes of other people then, only glimpses: a figure on a cliff-edge, staring into fog; a woman in a starship corridor with panels flickering; a scholar surrounded by books and yet completely lost. In each picture, the fox’s lantern light gleamed somewhere close, never forcing, only offering.

    Then the fountain went still. The water lay flat as glass, reflecting only the lantern above.

    Eli stepped closer until he could see his own face in the surface. Freckles, wide eyes, hair sticking up in three directions. He looked small. He also looked… present. Solid. Like he belonged here, in this strange in-between square, at least for a moment.

    “I don’t want to disappear,” he said quietly, more to himself than to the fox. “I want to go home. Even when it’s noisy. Even when they’re tired. I want to be where they are.”

    The fox hopped down from the fountain. The lantern swung close to Eli’s chest, brightening until he had to squint. Warmth wrapped around his ribs, his heart, like someone was fastening a button deep inside him that had come undone.

    He felt, clearly and simply, a sense of agreement.

    Then the world tilted.

    The square, the fountain, the doors around it—all stretched away like reflections sliding off glass. Lantern light became the sharp glare of the fairground bulbs. The damp cobbles under his shoes turned back into gravel dusted with dropped popcorn.

    He staggered, catching his balance.

    He stood exactly where he’d first realized he was alone: between the game booth and the carousel. The dragon still circled, its emerald eye shining. The map in his hand was just a map again, crumpled and slightly sweaty.

    But the warmth in his chest remained.

    “Eli!”

    His mother’s voice cracked over the noise, raw and sharp. He spun.

    She shoved through the crowd, hair a mess, jacket half-zipped, Dad close behind her. The moment she saw him, she broke into a run. He thought he’d be in trouble, or at least scolded, but instead she crashed into him in a hug that knocked the breath out of his lungs.

    “Oh thank God,” she whispered against his hair. “Oh, Eli, we couldn’t find you, everything kept looking the same, I thought—”

    His father’s hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing hard enough to hurt in a good way. “You alright, kiddo?” His voice was rough. “You hurt? You scared us half to death.”

    “I’m okay,” Eli said, the words muffled by his mother’s jacket. He swallowed. “I was… lost. Really lost. But…”

    He hesitated. How did you explain cobbled alleys and silent tavern doors and a fox made of lantern light?

    He pulled back enough to look up at them. “I’m sorry,” he said instead. “For the joke earlier. I don’t want to get lost on purpose. I want to stay with you. Even when everything’s… kinda loud.”

    His mother’s eyes filled, a complicated mix of relief and guilt and love. His father ruffled his hair, too hard, the way he always did when he didn’t know what else to do.

    “We’re going home,” his dad said. “Fair’s over for us tonight.”

    Eli nodded, slipping one hand into his mother’s and one into his father’s, anchoring himself left and right. For a moment, walking between them felt like the safest place in the universe.

    As they headed toward the exit, he glanced back over his shoulder.

    Between two stalls, where the shadows pooled thickest, a small shape moved. A tail tipped with light curled briefly into view, the lantern swinging in a slow arc. The fox’s eyes met his across the distance—warm, watchful, amused.

    Eli smiled, a quick, fierce little smile that felt too old for his face and exactly right at the same time.

    “Thank you,” he whispered.

    The fox dipped its head once. Behind it, for the barest heartbeat, he thought he saw a door outlined in warm gold, and beyond it the glow of firelight on old beams and the suggestion of a sign shaped like a fox coiled around a lantern.

    Then the crowd shifted. A man walked between them, pushing a stroller. When he passed, the door and the fox were gone. Only the ordinary dark remained.

    Except, of course, it wasn’t entirely ordinary anymore.

    Eli walked out of the fairground holding his parents’ hands, the warmth of lantern light still tucked under his ribs like a secret. The world felt a little bigger than it had that morning—stranger, maybe—but also kinder.

    Somewhere, not yet fixed in any one place, a tavern waited to be fully real, its hearth ready, its doors not quite settled on which street they belonged to. For now, it lived in glimpses and echoes and the paths the lantern fox walked.

    Eli didn’t know that. Not yet.

    He only knew that when he closed his eyes on the backseat ride home, the darkness wasn’t empty. It was filled with the soft glow of a lantern swinging in time with his breath, keeping pace with the beat of his heart, leading on—quietly, patiently—whenever he felt lost.